Your site for professional sex and relationship help.
A message from Dr. Lee:
Welcome to a site that's been designed to provide answers and encouragement to visitors who want intimate lives that are full of joy and passion. That's your birthright, and the ability to have it is built into your cells. Whatever your age or circumstances or level of health and fitness, deeply satisfying sexuality can be yours. You can rediscover what seems like lost libido. You can encourage a reluctant partner to join you on this journey. You can learn new ways of sexual expression; you and your partner can create a no-fail zone, where no mistakes are possible. You can learn how easy it is to solve most "sex problems." You can overcome fears that you or your body or your technique are deficient.
Most important of all, you can restore or discover intimate ways to grow your relationship into the source of sweetness and pleasure it's meant to be. I know the path, and just as I have helped hundreds of couples over more than 20 years, I can help you get there too.
----Dr. Victoria Lee
Do you have questions about sexuality or other intimate relationship concerns? Most people do, and most never have a chance to ask an understanding, ethical expert about those intimate questions. Filling that need is one of my life's main missions. I feel the lack of information and assistance most people encounter as soon as they develop some kind of sex problem is very unfortunate and very wrong.
I believe that our "no talk" rules cause a lot of our problems. What I mean by that is that most people absolutely do not talk about sex to anyone other than their sex partner; many people don't even feel comfortable doing that. People feel terrible shame if they lack desire, have pain, don't reach orgasm or don't have erections when they think they should. And that's just the beginning. Most people worry that they might not be "normal," or that their desires, or the level of frequency they want is somehow wrong.
Most of the time, these fears are unwarranted. Here are some of the things that are distinctly normal: wanting more sex or less sex than your partner does, having fantasies about unusual sexual acts or inappropriate partners, having less reliable erections than you once did, having trouble reaching orgasm when you think you should, having vaginal pain after menopause or after childbirth, or after a long period of abstinence, or when you don't use plenty of lubricant, having changes in your body due to any number of causes, worrying that you or your partner is not doing something correctly, feeling critical of your body, being nervous about "peforming," feeling afraid to tell your partner what you really want, being afraid to ask your partner what he or she really wants....and the list goes on!
Professional help can dissolve many of these worries, and bring you back to the land of pleasure and enjoyment of sharing love and intimacy. Passion is your birthright at any age and stage of life and health.
Now available, to meet the needs of our growing audience:
Professional sex and relationship advice and coaching by email, phone, Skype and Facetime by Dr. Victoria Lee, sex therapist and psychologist.
For how to get help right now on this site, Click here to go to our Get Help Now page.
My Target Group:
As a seasoned psychotherapist, I've had more than two decades to become clear about who I can help most effectively. The following describes that target group:
1) You are a person or couple who has already done significant work on yourself. You may have done this through personal reflection, therapy, 12-step work, workshops, group work, spiritual practice, or a combination of these.
2) You understand the idea of a lifelong journey toward wholeness and true freedom. You are willing and able to face the challenges involved in healing childhood wounds, and acknowleging your own part in issues between yourself and others. We determine together whether or not that kind of exploration is necessary to help you reach your goals. (Some goals such as solving a specific sex problem or resolving a conflict with someone, may simply require new information and behavioral strategies.)
3) You have the emotional and intellectual resources necessary to make good use of therapy.
4) You are receptive to the idea of working with a therapist who participates actively in the process, sharing her own journey when appropriate, and encouraging you to define, embrace and reach your own goals.
5) You are probably a creative person, often with interests or skills in writing, music, art or dance. I am a writer and musician myself, and find that my passion for these pursuits can sometimes assist in the therapeutic process.
6) Some form of spirituality is important to you. I am probably not the right therapist for others.
I offer these principles to help you in the often difficult task of deciding which therapist to call. Another way I do that is by offering a complimentary telephone assessment time of 20--30 minutes before we mutually decide whether to set up the first appointment.
My areas of expertise include the following:
• couple counseling and sex therapy
• individual counseling, offering you emotional support and attentive exploration of your journey
• family therapy, often including two or more generations
• work with the dying and the bereaved and their famlies
• extensive experince with food and alcohol issues; I am an advocate of dedicated efforts to achieve the highest level of health possible.
Welcome to the Advice Blog on this site.Go there now and read about the struggles of other people like yourself.
Send in your own questions for professional, free advice.
Please join the 60,000 visitors to my separate blog. You can visit it and post comments at rumisecret.wordpress.com. The blog began as an introduction to my book The Rumi Secret. Over time, it has grown to include other poets and commentary on many spiritual topics.
Meet Dr. Lee:
Q. Are you longing for a more passionate and satisfying marriage? Do you want better sex, better communication and more joy?
A. You can find the solutions you need right here. This site is full of power tools for couples.
• Please email email@example.com so I can send you my free special report:
Finding Each Other Again: Five Crucial Steps
• Learn how to solve sex problems with libido, orgasm, erections and differing frequency preferences.
• Learn to be a great communicator.
• Learn to dissolve anger and resentment and get back your romantic feelings.
• Find out which relationship problems can be solved and which are deal-breakers.
Q. What solutions can I learn from a website like this?
A. This site offers you the wisdom of many very experienced and skillful couple counselors. On this site, I've integrated the most effective approaches out there with my own 22 years of great results with couples to design exercises and explain attitude changes that can turn your relationship around. You can find each other again. You can get your sex life back. You can resolve old resentments and conflicts and come back to the love that brought you together in the first place.
Introducing Dr. Victoria Lee
Welcome! I've been a clinical psychologist and sex therapist for the past 22 years. I'm privileged to have a gift for this work. I know that because so many couples have been kind enough to tell me that our work together was life-changing for their marriages. It makes me very happy to know that whole families are together today because of those very satisfying shared journeys.
Q. Will this online learning process work for everyone?
A. The honest answer is no. If creating a joyful marriage is something you really want, I can teach you powerful skills, attitudes and exercises: your part is to open your heart and mind, and to practice the new skills and attitudes at home. Click here for a list of limitations and conditions that would make it inadvisable for you to rely on these skills alone.
Q. What tools do you offer at coupleswisdom.com?
A. We have many options: webinars, audio and video products, and email or telephone consultation.
Private sessions may be an option if you live in or can travel to the San Francisco East Bay Area. But this site is meant to help you online regardless of where you live.
Q. What's the cost?
A. This site is full of free information, and it also offers fee-based services and products. Try out our free products and services first, and see if you want to go further. If you do, we offer books, podcasts, DVD trainings, webinars, subscriptions and a membership option.
Q. What if my partner is not receptive to this?
A. Ideally, both you and your partner will practice these skills together. But you can make important strides even if you can't get your partner's cooperation at first. One member's changes affect every person in any human system.
My goal is to help you uncover your true potential and lead a life that is worth celebrating. Most people are capable of a loving relationship, but getting there is not automatic, and it doesn't come through the romantic idea that you just have to find the right person.
Take that first step now by signing up here. My special report will inspire you to renew and grow your relationship.